Things to ponder about..........

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

If you get scared half to death twice, what happens?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

How can someone "draw a blank"?

If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

you know what?
DON'T ASK QUESTIONS!

I'm going to give a shot at answering these.

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Because they were shortened from "Slow down to my speed" and "Go slower, people up there"

If you get scared half to death twice, what happens?
You are a quarter away from death. If it happens again you are an eighth from death.

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
As you know, most of English is derived from other languages. This is from the Anglo-French word "brocour." Give it an English spelling and you have "broker."

Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
Why do you "jack off" when you are coming?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Alaska and Puerto Rico also have Interstate highways. Although Hawaii's Interstate highways are not connected to those in the continental United States, they are built to Interstate standards. The fact that they carry an "H" number, rather than an "I" number differentiates them from the connected system of Interstate routes on the continental United States.

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Because there isn't room for fifty parachutes to open inside of a plane.

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
To support the illusion of security.

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Blind people won't share their ATM numbers with their drivers! Blind sits in the back seat and driver pulls up a bit farther for them. Bingo!

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Because you have poor personal hygiene.

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Because that is one of the definitions of "practice"? "The condition of being proficient through systematic exercise" and "The continuous exercise of a profession"

How can someone "draw a blank"?
Invisible ink.

If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
Nope, the umbilical cord reattaches to the old belly button.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
You try to fail at doing something else. If you fail at doing that, you still fail at it, but succeed in your goal. Over all you just fail for being counterproductive.

How is it possible to have a civil war?
In olden days, anyone not in the same country of you was a barbarian (actually, the term "barbarian" started with Romans equating other people's languages to that of a sheep's "bar bar" (bar instead of bah) I'm dead serious.). Ergo people in a civil war were all of your country and therefore civilised.


Well now that that's over, it's time for bigger and better things.

Any ideas?

Hmm, time to check my photobucket for an answer!









Win

Very time consuming answers, but ty

WoW!! You are just over-flowing with knowledge.

I over-flowed your mother with knowledge last night.

um..i was going to say fag but i dont know now... i guess know it all pretty much covers it..

Peaches wrote:

I over-flowed your mother with knowledge last night.

By knowledge I mean my semen, because simply being in contact with my DNA enlightens one.



And whom were you going to say "fag" to? I hope not me!